


An Unexpected Throng

by Fangirlyra



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlyra/pseuds/Fangirlyra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Hobbit: an unexpected journey was actually a porno with a really good story line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unexpected Throng

“Dwalin, at your service.” the tall dwarf grunted.

“B-bilbo baggins, at yours!” squeaked Bilbo.  
  
At that Dwalin leaned down and kissed Bilbo  _hard_. Blibo moaned into Dwalin’s mouth, a little stiff perhaps. And what would you do, if an uninvited dwarf came and stuck his tongue down your throat without a word of explanation?  
  
Before long, came another ring at the bell.  
  
“Excuse me!” said the hobbit, squirming out of Dwalin’s embrace and off he went to the door.  
  
There was a very old-looking dwarf on the step with a white beard and he hopped inside as soon as the door was open, just as if he had been invited.   
  
“I see they have begun to arrive already,” he said when he caught sight of Dwalin’s green hood hanging up.   
  
“Balin at your service.” he said with his hand on Bilbo’s breast.  
  
“Thank you!” said Bilbo with a gasp.   
  
It was not the correct thing to say, but the words  _they have begun to arrive_  had flustered him badly. He liked visitors, but he liked to know them before they arrived, and he preferred to ask them himself.  
  
“Come along in, and have some tea!” he managed to say after taking a deep breath.  
  
“A little romp would suit me better, if it is all the same to you, my good sir,” said Balin with his white beard pressed between his and Bilbo’s breast.  
  
Blibo spluttered, not sure what to say. That’s when loud came a ring at the bell again, and then another ring.  
  
It was two more dwarves, in they hopped, as soon as the door began to open-Bilbo was hardly surprised at all.  
  
“What can I do for you, my dwarves?” he said.  
  
“Kili,” The younger dwarf pressed his chest to Bilbo’s back,  
  
“And Fili,” As the other pressed his to Bilbo’s front.  
  
“At your service.” and they both swept Bilbo’s off his feet as they started sucking at his skin. Fili on his neck, and Kili behind his pointed ear.  
  
“At yours and your family’s!” mewled Bilbo, remembering his manners this time.  
  
 _Ding-dong-a-ling-dang_ , his bell rang again, as if some naughty little hobbit-boy was trying to pull the handle off.  
  
“Someone at the door!” he gasped, blinking.   
  
“Some four I should said by the sound.” chuckled Fili on his neck.  
  
The poor little hobbit scampered down to the hall and put his head in his hands, and wondered what had happened, and what was going to happen. Then the bell rang again louder than ever, and he had to run to the door. It was not four after all, it was FIVE.  
  
He had hardly turned the knob, before they were all inside, kissing and groping him and saying “at your service” one after another. Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, and Gloin were their names.  
  
Then there came-a loud knock. Not a ring, but a hard rat-tat on the hobbit’s beautiful green door. Bilbo rushed along the passage, very bewildered. He pulled open the door with a jerk, and they all fell in, one with the furry hat on top him. More dwarves, three more! And they are not in a hurry to stood for they were very  _interested_  indeed with the hobbit below them.  
  
And there was Gandalf behind, leaning on his staff and laughing.  
  
“There now, don’t fluster our host to bad. Save it for later. Let me introduce Bifur, Bofur and Bombur!”  
  
“At your service!” said Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur standing in a row.  
  
Bilbo lead the last group to his dining room, where the other dwarves had moved his dining table out and moved in fleece and fur blankets all over the surface.  
  
Gandalf looked at the dwarves and asked,  
  
“Where is he?”  
  
“He’ll be late. He was up north.” answered Gloin.  
  
“We might as well get started before him!” said Nori.  
  
All twelve dwarves looked at Bilbo with such  _lustful_  look that Bilbo couldn’t help but realized what they are going to do with him. Bilbo could feel his knees going weak,  
  
“Nope.”  
  
And the little hobbit fainted.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt on KinkMeme: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/1990.html?thread=1107398#t1107398
> 
> Crossposted here: http://fangirlyra.tumblr.com/post/39397156724/an-unexpected-throng


End file.
